AKA A-level results day.
For those of you not from England, let's do a whistle-stop tour of British education so you don't feel lost.
Ages 5 - 16 you go to school, you graduate high school at 16 (but we don't call it graduate, you just.. finish). Then you can go to college or go into work/an apprenticeship or anything you want to do - you are free! I went to Sixth Form College where qualifications called A-Levels are offered, as well as the IB in some cases. You could also go to an FE college where more vocational subjects are offered. You do this usually for 2 years but sometimes more. Then when you're 18 (maybe 19 or 20.. maybe even older!), you finish college and your grades determine where you can go to University - the better the grades, the better the Uni! When you apply to University you use a service called UCAS to send your application to five places. The University entry requirements will either be in the form of grades (e.g ABB) or in the form of UCAS tariff points.
There I was yesterday morning thinking "Pfft, what is everyone so nervous about? I feel fiiiiine!" Then I done a very silly thing, I looked at the grade boundaries that had been released by the exam boards. In reality, these don't mean much to me (or anyone) without your marks. And I've never really found them useful, I don't care if I was 2 marks off an A, it doesn't mean I -got- an A, I've still got a B. Regardless of that, I still had a look and it set the nerves in motion. I have a funny way of reacting to exams. About a month before I start to worry about taking them, stressing, thinking it's the end of the world, that kind of deal. Then about 24 hours before something in my head kicks in and tells me that if I don't know it now, I'm not going to know it by tomorrow. After that I chill out, don't do anymore studying and take the exam the next day, relatively relaxed. That is why it surprised me when last night I was so nervous. I didn't sleep until 4am, got pretty negative about the outcome of my results and generally was worried. I woke up at 8.45am, got up to see if Mum had been and got them, but she was nowhere to be seen. Spoke to my sister for a bit, who helped calm my nerves by being generally hilarious and waiting to hear with me. Had two whole cups of tea - spoilt I know - and 9.30am came, still with nothing from Mum. What I think must have happened is I thought she would be there at 9am, she thought 10am. So at around 10.15am she was there! And the results were revealed.
They're not what I expected. I had to come off Skype with Mum for a while to have a bit of a cry, feel shitty and make another cup of tea (for sympathy purposes this time). These are the kind of times I wish I was at home. I try and talk about the results with people here but they don't understand how they work, obviously, and Mum understands how much doing well means to me. Hell, she's seen enough of the backlash when I don't feel that I'm doing enough. But actually, more than that, I wanted a cuddle from my Mummy. Anyhow, before I get teary again, here's what I have to show after two years of tertiary education;
A-Levels;
General Studies - A*
Government and Politics - A
Psychology - B
History - C
AS-Level (half an A-Level);
Law - B
This leaves me with 350 UCAS points if General Studies isn't included (some places don't accept it) and 490 when it is. This isn't a bad number really. Although I did have a horrible half an hour where I had added up my score wrong and thought I only had 250 points.
I called Mum back and apoligised for freaking out, she understood of course and we spoke about how it's not the end of the world. I spent the rest of my morning emailing admissions officers to see if they accept General Studies, because apparently not all Universities state it on their websites. So I guess now it's just another game of wait and see. Also tried to call my Dad and let him no, but there's no answer at home and his mobile is off. I took Mum's advice and had a hot shower, another cup of tea and it did make me feel better marginally.
I do know it will be okay, I just have to take today to feel rubbish.
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